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    Lyrics

    A man walks down the street
    He says, "Why am I soft in the middle now?
    Why am I soft in the middle?
    The rest of my life is so hard
    I need a photo opportunity
    I want a shot at redemption
    Don't want to end up a cartoon
    In a cartoon graveyard"
    Bonedigger, bonedigger
    Dogs in the moonlight
    Far away my well-lit door
    Mr. Beerbelly, Beerbelly
    Get these mutts away from me
    You know I don't find this stuff
    Amusing anymore

    If you'll be my bodyguard
    I can be your long-lost pal
    I can call you Betty
    And Betty, when you call me
    You can call me Al

    A man walks down the street
    He says, "Why am I short of attention?
    Got a short little span of attention
    And, woe my nights are so long
    Where's my wife and family?
    What if I die here?
    Who'll be my role model
    Now that my role model is
    Gone gone?"
    He ducked back down the alley
    With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl
    All along along
    There were incidents and accidents
    There were hints and allegations

    If you'll be my bodyguard
    I can be your long-lost pal
    I can call you Betty
    And Betty, when you call me
    You can call me Al
    Call me Al

    A man walks down the street
    It's a street in a strange world
    Maybe it's the third world
    Maybe it's his first time around
    He doesn't speak the language
    He holds no currency
    He is a foreign man
    He is surrounded by the sound, the sound
    Cattle in the marketplace
    Scatter-lings and orphanages

    He looks around, around
    He sees angels in the architecture
    Spinning in infinity
    He says, "Amen!" and "Hallelujah!"

    If you'll be my bodyguard
    I can be your long-lost pal
    I can call you Betty
    And Betty, when you call me
    You can call me Al
    Call me

    Na na na na …

    If you'll be my bodyguard
    I can call you Betty

    If you'll be my bodyguard
    I can call you Betty

    If you'll be my bodyguard ...

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